Everyone is talking about neurodivergent burnout now and that's great, as more people are talking and writing about it - then the more we are getting the word out there, helping parents, individuals and professionals. Rarely however have I seen anyone talk about social media's impact upon autistic and otherwise neurodivergent folk and how this is plays a part in burnout for many of us. We know that environments are one of the main things that lead to burnout - environments that trigger sensory overload, where there are too many neurotypical demands and expectations and where masking is more likely because of stigma. Do you ever think about social media platforms being environments? Well they are. They are environments where we can end up victimised, exploited and exhausted.
Before the days of social media, mobile phones and emails even, life was so much simpler- it really was. I am not saying they were the good ol' days by any means, but the boundaries in terms of communication were clearer in so many aspects of life. You either saw someone face to face, wrote a letter or you phoned them. Like I say, simple. Now the only time you write a letter is to write to someone in prison! You could go home from school or from work and that was usually it.
We are often constantly communicating. We are speaking, messaging, texting, sharing all the time and don't get me wrong, the fact that I can just DM someone in Australia or the US, etc is incredible! But there is this expectation and pressure to text, email, leave a voice message, DM, WhatsApp, Facebook, SnapChat, Insta, Tweet and so on and so on. And the pressure of being contactable ALL THE TIME is exhausting.
Many of us are spending so much more time communicating via social media, constantly checking comments, constantly on guard, doom scrolling and our nervous system pays the price. Are we considering the levels of exhaustion this amount of communicating and exposure is having? No wonder our executive functioning gets so fried, I know mine does.
I am not saying we go back. We can't. I am not advocating banning or taking phones away, as that cuts people off. I am suggesting we appreciate the levels of exhaustion caused by all the communicating and especially the impact of social media on us all, not just the kids.
Over the past few years I have been building up my small business as a sole trader and have used social media a lot to help me reach people, make contacts, share thoughts and advertise my services and events, etc. It's been such an incredible tool and I have also met some amazing people - which I do not for one minute regret as many have become dearest friends. In that time however on a number of occasions I have had some really unpleasant, hurtful experiences, each one winded me, each one was a cut. Social media can bring out the best in people but more often brings out the worst. We bark and shout at each other, criticise, victimise, pull down and say things we would never say to each others faces. And it's constant. Its more often not a safe place - for anyone.
What we do know is that a very high percentage of autistic people experience interpersonal victimisation and this happens online as much as it does face to face.
And don't for a minute think its just neurodivergent people being victims of neurotypical people as many might think. Stigma, ableism, internalised ableism and the double empathy problem all exists amongst neurodivergent people too. Much of the bullying I have experienced in recent years was by other neurodivergent people.
Each cut leaves a scar and it all accumulates. Burnout doesn't usually happen because of one event, but an accumulation. Cut, after cut, after cut, after cut. This is the effect social media has and when we take breaks we often appreciate how all consuming and energy zapping it is. All that information, socialising and all that communicating leads to hangovers. And when you are marginalised then the more cuts there will be. Blatant as well as implicit racism, misogyny, ableism, homophobia, transphobia and ageism, etc. IT IS EXHAUSTING! Constant micro aggressions and currently its worse than ever.
I want to acknowledge the fact that there are times when we fall down wormholes, into a flow state, reseaching - which I love! Or we can become highly, highly focussed on a person or thing/s, that means we might spend a lot of time on lets say YouTube for example - this can tick a lot of boxes and be healthy.
But here are some suggestions for keeping yourself safe:
If you have a number of devices make sure you have at least one that has no social media apps on. I have done this and I have found it so helpful - I doom scroll a lot less now also.
Block. Yes, I know its hard, isn't it? But your mental wellbeing is worth so much more than someone being offended by being blocked. You do NOT have to put up with other people's toxic shit. You do not have to be other people's punchbag.
Have regular breaks from your phone, other devices and social media. This can help us avoid the hangovers and potentially avoid as much RSD (rejection sensitivity syndrome) and Imposter Syndrome being triggered.
Balance - your mind and body like balance and safety; we might need gentle reminders to move, drink, eat, go to the toilet etc. Being yanked out of a monotropic flow state can make us feel very discombobulated, so gentle nudges and reminders can help.
Don't now turn off your WiFi. Look at your own social media usage, rather than just your kids.
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